Sunday, November 13, 2011

I just caught my breath!

I was thinking today about this long lost blog of mine, and how I wanted to write again but not for any other reason than that I would love to have an online journal of sorts that I can look back on and read and see what was going on in my life. Tyler is 10 months old and I look back and its all a blur, a good blur, but still it seems like the first year of his life FLEW by. Between sickness and a Hemophilia diagnosis and having Jake start Kindergarden and just learning to juggle three children under 5, 2011 has been the fastest year of my life by far. I feel like Im just catching my breath and starting to really soak it in and enjoy it. Of course, I have a lot of fear in being a mom to these three amazing children...this is a huge responsibility and what if I screw it up? That is where I have to trust that I CANT do it alone and just pray that my kids will see less of mom and more of Jesus in me.

Another reason I want to get back into writing down my thoughts is because I feel like God has been doing a work in my heart over the past few years (and I have to say that when I found out I was pregnant with Ty I didnt think this would be revisited) but the tug on my heart to adopt a child is still there! Crazy! us? 4 kids? I would have said NO WAY if someone told me that years ago. I am starting to think things and see things differently and its neat to watch Aaron do the same...we both recently read Radical (an amazing read) and it forever changed the way we GIVE, LIVE, and SEE the world around us. I can obssess about a couch for my living room or just be grateful for the couch Im sitting on and give more so people can have clean water or an education...things we have always had an abundance of and never thought twice about. I am guilty in every way of wanting a nice home for my family and nice things, which isnt wrong, but how is that making any difference and how can we as a family use those things for the glory of God? We are coming up on some big changes...our house is on the market, we dont know where we are going if it sells, we are open to whatever it is God is going to teach us, lead us, ect. to do and hopefully this will be a great way to go back and see how God worked in our lives to lead us to whatever is next...moving? adoption? parenting? It should be fun to see it all unfold..and the greatest part is that we are not in control.